It’s Really Complicated

Gossip Girl: Gobble gobble, Upper East Siders. That’s right. It’s Thanksgiving again. And I hope you all brought your appetites. Because today’s the one day a year you’re supposed to count your blessings. And not your calories. I don’t care whether you’re sick to your stomach or simply on a liquid diet. This turkey day […]

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Save the Last Chance

Gossip Girl: Desperate times call for desperate measures. And even the most disciplined people can resort to destruction. Chuck: Funny. I didn’t ask for a turndown service. But did you find what you’re looking for? Gossip Girl: While others try to rebuild bridges using more intimate tactics. Serena: If we want to be a couple […]

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Monstrous Ball

Gossip Girl: New day, new debs. All dressed up to enter high society. But one fashion faux pas and the dressing down will last a lifetime. Blair: Why are you still chewing? Tell me what you think. Dan: I think, ah, it’s old school. Not in the good way. In the, in the literal way. Like […]

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Portrait of a Lady Alexander

Gossip Girl: Extra extra, read all about it. The latest Upper East Sider to take central stage in the social spotlight. But you know what they say, If you can’t take the heat, then move to Hell’s Kitchen. Nate: “Nate Archibald has the opposite of the Midas touch. Instead of everything he touches turning to […]

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High Infidelity

Gossip Girl: Up and at ’em, Upper East Siders. It’s important to start your day right. There’s nothing worse than waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Dan: I thought we agreed you’d stop watching me sleep. Georgina (Michelle Trachtenberg): I lied. I’m letting you stay here for free. There has to be […]

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Gone Maybe Gone

4 Months Ago Georgina Sparks (Michelle Trachtenberg): Could it be any hotter? It’s a good thing you’re not fair-skinned, otherwise your summer under the Tuscan sun would end up under a scalpel removing a melanoma. Dan: I know it was my idea, but why did I bring you to Italy? I should be at the […]

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The Return of the Ring

Gossip Girl: Good morning, Upper East Siders. How do you look today? You know image is everything. But under those perfect clothes and perfect smiles, everyone has their not-so-perfect secrets. Chuck: I take it you’ve decided to have Lola move in for the summer. Nate: She sleeps here every night, I want to see her […]

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The Princess Dowry

Gossip Girl: They say we should carry our secrets to the grave. But on the Upper East Side secrets are one thing you can never bury. Even when we think we know everything about the ones we love, there’s always a skeleton in their walk-in closet. Nate: What’s got you in such a good mood? […]

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Crazy, Cupid, Love

Gossip Girl: Another picture perfect Valentine’s Day on the Upper East Side. And how am I going to celebrate? By exposing a giant secret today that’s sure to break more than a few hearts. Dorota: Miss Blair! You’re back! I was worried you’d be locked away in big stone tower somewhere, and only way to […]

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The Backup Dan

Gossip Girl: Everyone wants their wedding to be perfect. But on the Upper East Side, perfect isn’t good enough. Although some disasters can’t be avoided. Eleanor (Margaret Colin): Serena, Blair seems happy, doesn’t she? With Louis? Serena: Of course. I mean she loves Louis. She’s a Princess now so, you know, as soon as that […]

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G.G.

Gossip Girl: Wakey wakey, Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite. It seems like today is a big day for everyone. But none so much as me. Gossip Girl: Once upon a time Princess B was a virgin Queen, and her King was named […]

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The Wrong Goodbye

Serena: Well at least now we know why Charlie’s been acting so unbalanced. Vanessa (Jessica Szohr): Yeah. Because she is. Serena: You know this isn’t her fault. She needs help. The last time that this happened she ended up wandering through the snow in her bare feet. Vanessa: Yeah. After she Single White Female’d her […]

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The Undergraduates

Gossip Girl: Under Construction Blair: I don’t understand. How can Gossip Girl be down my first day at Columbia? Dorota: Maybe Gossip Girl get kidnapped. Unstable ex-boyfriend lock internet— Blair: Dorota! What did I tell you? No more watching Law and Order: SVU while you’re breastfeeding. No, unlike those plebeians at NYU the students at […]

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Belles de Jour

Gossip Girl: Nothing beats a summer abroad. But when travelling far from home it’s always nice to bring along an old friend from the neighborhood. Cobblestones and Cafe de Flore. Serena’s locked down the Left Bank and become a muse to us all. Meanwhile, Blair rules the Right Bank. Storming the shops and consuming the […]

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Rufus Getting Married

Gossip Girl: Some say love is a river, some says love’s a silly song. Some say love is all around us. It lifts us up where we belong. Some say love is hearing laughter in the rain. But on the Upper East Side, we all know love is pain. Blair: The bloodsucker is back. I […]

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The Lost Boy

Gossip Girl: Morning in New York. Time to wake up from bad dreams, roll out of the beds we’ve made, and start making plans for a brighter future. Blair: I know what this is. And don’t think you can run me out of my own room with a half-naked Dan Humphrey. Georgina (Michelle Trachtenberg): Fine. […]

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The Freshmen

Gossip Girl: Every fall, confident high school seniors transform into nervous college freshmen. They leave their parents’ homes for the hallowed halls of education. And like any new venture, starting college holds the promise of limitless opportunity. The opportunity to conquer new territory. Or to try and be a little less lonely. But just because […]

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Southern Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

Gossip Girl: Eventually, every queen finds herself in unfamiliar territory outside the castle walls. In Blair Waldorf’s case, the Village. Blair: NYU? What was I thinking? You know how I feel about ironic facial hair. Nate: Well you were thinking a) you’re lucky to get into a school at all. And b) you’re super lucky […]

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Much “I Do” About Nothing

Serena: Hey Dan. I’ve been trying to reach you all night. I know it’s early… or late if you haven’t slept like me. But um, I’m pretty sure after this message I will have officially filled your voicemail so I… I’m coming over. Lily: Oh my. god. Rufus: Oh my god. Lily: What? Rufus: I […]

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