Where the Vile Things Are

Gossip Girl: They say the early bird gets the worm. Inspiring motivation. If you’re the bird. The worm, however, has no idea when her future will be plucked away by the next airborne attacker. Blair: How dare Humphrey write that I am conniving, manipulative and stuck in high school. I am not all scheme and […]

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Dirty Rotten Scandals

Gossip Girl: Manhattan has weathered her share of storms–heat waves, hurricanes, even earthquakes. But these days it looks like a new force of nature is taking shape on the Upper East Side. Blair: Ah, there’s nothing I love more than the sound of a sweatshop in the morning. Blair: The Devil is in the details […]

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High Infidelity

Gossip Girl: Up and at ’em, Upper East Siders. It’s important to start your day right. There’s nothing worse than waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Dan: I thought we agreed you’d stop watching me sleep. Georgina (Michelle Trachtenberg): I lied. I’m letting you stay here for free. There has to be […]

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Remains of the J

Gossip Girl: Mornings are simply more fun on the Upper East Side. Our favorite things to wake up to? The sun in the sky, the Nikkei on the rise, and a wake-up call from your lover. Or your best friend. Rufus: Lily’s doing breakfast today. She wants to talk to us. Dan: Ominous. Jenny: Or […]

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The Age of Dissonance

Gossip Girl: On the Upper East Side all the world’s a stage, and the men and women merely players. But once a year, Constance/St. Jude students shed their usual roles and take on new ones for the senior class play. This year’s pick? The Age of Innocence. Dan: I just can’t believe this is a […]

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Carnal Knowledge

Gossip Girl: While Upper East Siders are hitting the snooze button, Blair Waldorf had a rude awakening when the rooster crowed at dawn this morning. Blair: Never, in my 16,982 hours of schooling, have I ever been sentenced to detention. Serena: I can’t believe you added up all the hours of class we’ve had. Makes […]

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You’ve Got Yale!

Gossip Girl: True love and betrayal. Revenge and more revenge. A heroine with an impossible goal. If only Mozart had lived on the Upper East Side. But you can keep your magic fleet, Amadeus. All this Queen wants is a golden ticket to Yale. Harold (John Shea): Is Chuck joining us? You know how he […]

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In the Realm of the Basses

Gossip Girl: Gossip Girl here, welcoming you to the New Year. When Manhattanites who flew south for the sun return to their Park Avenue perches. Which means I have a lot of catching up to do. Word is, Serena van der Woodsen tangoed in the New Year in the plazas of Buenos Aires. Guess that […]

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Desperately Seeking Serena

Gossip Girl: There are three things we do alone: we are born, we die, and if we’re a high school junior headed for college, we take the SATs. And while the test is said to measure our best traits, preparing for it inevitably brings out the worst. Humility becomes self-doubt. Striving becomes obsession. Some are […]

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