The Dearly Beloved

Ryan: How are you doing? Seth: Well, I was depressed. Now I’m depressed and confused. Ryan: A rehab center. Where’d you get this? Seth: My dad’s office. I don’t think he’s trying to kick bagels. Ryan: I don’t think it’s for your dad. Julie: All my black dresses look like they should be accessorized with […]

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The O.Sea

As Seth comes to visit Ryan in the early morning Ryan: What time is it? Seth: It’s 5:30… ish. Ryan: You’re showing up earlier and earlier. Seth: Yeah, well, we have a lot of ground to cover, so I figured, since we’re both up, we may as well get a jump on it. Seth: Something […]

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The Rager

Sandy: I tell you the timing in this household is a thing of beauty. Trey: I’m sorry, Ryan. Okay? I screwed up. And you and Seth and Marissa saved my ass. I know that. Will you please just accept my apology? Ryan: Don’t keep Sandy waiting. Seth: He doesn’t exactly seem overburdened with possessions. Unless […]

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The Mallpisode

Ryan: This thing with Lindsay is… different. Seth: Different how? Ryan: Different as in not fixed by pancakes. And don’t ask me how I feel about waffles. Seth: Got it. Seth: This thing with Lindsay is just really kicking Ryan’s ass. Summer: Which is why it’s a good thing we’re like the Marines. Seth: How […]

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The Rainy Day Women

Seth: Think we should stick together? Kinda two-by-two like Noah did? He’s very wise, Ryan. He had a beard. Sandy: I feel like we’ve become like strangers. Kirsten: Well, I was taught never to talk to strangers. Julie: That’s very punk of you. You know, I used to like the punk in my day. Marissa: […]

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The Second Chance

Ryan: Is this about Alex? Seth: Ah, no no. She’s merely kitchen table fodder at this point. She’s no longer up to pool house standard. Ryan: Look, I’m not the biggest fan of your dad—no offense—but I mean Luke Skywalker was happy to have a dad, even if it was Darth Vader. Kirsten: You’re right, […]

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The Family Ties

Seth: Hey man, what’s going on? Ryan: Studying. Seth: Will you punch someone, please? For old time’s sake? Alright, fine. Logarithms are the new uppercut. I got it. Seth: It’s a story as old as time, really. Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy finds out girl is surrogate mother’s illegitimate half-sister. Sandy: I’m guessing […]

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The Chrismukkah That Almost Wasn’t

Caleb: What is the point of living in Southern California if it’s going to be this cold? Sandy: Fifty degrees in December, Cal. That ain’t cold. Caleb: Yeah, my blood must have gotten thinner. Sandy: Or you’ve got ice in your veins. Sandy: Spare me. You’re not trying to protect Lindsay, you’re trying to protect […]

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The SnO.C.

Seth: Ryan Atwood, are you scared of a girl? Ryan: No, I just, I just might like her, and I don’t know, every time there’s a big party to go to… Seth: Everything goes terribly awry? Ryan: Yeah. Ryan: You’re not really the fist-fighting type. Seth: You’re not really the type to be scared of […]

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The New Era

Seth about Lindsay: She’s musical, she’s witty… hopefully she’s free for lunch. Seth: I can’t believe I finally met her. Ryan: Lindsay? Seth: Lindsay Cohen. That’s got a nice ring to it, don’t you think? Will you hook that up for me? Ryan: No. Seth: Why not? Unless, hey, I mean, do you like her? […]

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