Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Owen: Okay, so who the hell was that bloke in the hologram? Ianto: I know Jack recognized him. Tosh: Why didn’t he let us go with him? Gwen: ‘Cause he’s typical Jack, isn’t he? He disappears, he comes back, then he runs away again. Shuts us out. We don’t even know […]
Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Gwen: Excuse me. Have you seen a blowfish driving a sportscar? The woman points the way Thank you. Woman: Bloody Torchwood. Gwen: All I’m saying is you are speeding and there are children. Owen: Well if kids are out at midnight they’ve got it coming. Tosh: Detecting high levels of algae. […]
Rhys about the global incidents: Do you think it is terrorists? Gwen: Terrorists bomb things. This is different. Woman on TV: People didn’t believe us. Now they should. This is the end of days. Jack: Okay, I’ve been fielding calls all night. The government, UNIT, the CIA. Half the Western world and a good portion […]
Jack: Wow. Look at the chandelier. No neon lights back then. Just dashing young soldiers and pretty young ladies. And as they danced, the girls would look into their partners’ eyes, smile softly and say— Tosh: Jack! Mind my laptop. Jack: I was thinking more along the lines of, “And how long before you head […]
Jack: I hate to break it to you, but you’re not my first. Anti-Weevil spray, hand clamps. C’mon, let’s make this easy for both of us. The weevil attacks. This always happens when I give them the night off. Jack: Sorry to do this, kind of an emergency. I’ll have her back for dessert. Rhys: […]
Jack: When did you leave? Diane Harris: About half an hour ago. Jack: Which date? Diane Harris: Today. December the eighteenth. Jack: Which year? Which year? I need to know. Diane Harris: 1953. Gwen: At least it wasn’t a spaceship full of aliens. Jack: That might have been easier. Diane: If all this is true, […]
Eugene Jones: The speed of light is 299,792,458 meters per second. Pain travels through the body at 350 feet per second. Even a sneeze can reach a hundred miles per hour. And as for life. Well, that just bloody whizzes by. So then. This is me. Eugene Jones. Eugene Jones (Paul Chequer): Am I dead? Eugene: Stick with […]
Detective Swanson (Yasmin Bannerman): At last, you must be Torchwood. My team bitch about you all the time. Jack: And you are? Detective Swanson: Detective Swanson. Jack: I’m Captain Jack Harkness. Detective Swanson: So I’ve heard. Tell me something, are you always this dressy for a murder investigation? Jack: What, you’d rather me naked? Detective […]
Soldier with some issues to Mary: Do whores have prayers? Jack: Once—just once—I’d like to walk into one of these tents and find it’s a party. You know, with food and drink, people dancing… a girl crying in the corner. Gwen: Is it alien? Jack: And how. I’m picking up traces of ilminite, pyroxine and […]
Owen: I hate the countryside. It’s dirty, it’s unhygienic. And what is that smell? Gwen: That would be grass. Owen: It’s disgusting. Gwen: The Rift doesn’t spread out this far, does it? Jack: We don’t know that much about it to be certain. And it’s increasing in activity all the time. Jack: We’ll start with […]
Jack: You shouldn’t be here. Ianto: Neither should you. Jack: What have you got? Ianto: Funny sort of weather patterns. Estelle: Fairies are shy, you see. But I know in my heart that they’re friendly, loving creatures. She ends the lecture. Thank you. Jack: Wrong. She always gets it wrong. Gwen: Well I suppose one […]
Ianto: Can you make it two pepperoni feasts tonight? And a tub of coleslaw. My boss says I’m not eating enough vegetables. Dr. Tanizaki: My god. It’s not possible. One of them survived! Ianto: This is Lisa. Dr. Tanizaki: Tell me, what happened? Ianto: She worked for Torchwood London. It was the end of the […]
Gwen: I’ve lost him, Tosh. I’ve lost him. Tosh: I swear, whatever it is, you’re holding it. Jack: Gwen? Are you all right? Gwen: I’ve just seen a ghost. Owen: Intense emotions can be part of a neurological event. Hallucinations. Dementia. Gwen: I wasn’t hallucinating, Owen. And I’m not bloody senile. Jack: You pushed this […]
Jack: All right, usual formation. Gwen: What’s the usual formation? Owen: Varies. Gwen: How can the usual formation vary? Jack: What do we know? Owen: Bog standard space debris. to Gwen. That’s a technical term. Gwen: Yeah, thanks. Owen: Make yourself useful, sweetheart. Pass us that big chisel from the toolbox. Gwen: Not sweetheart. Gwen. […]
“Move ’em back,” they said. “Leave it safe.” “Special access,” they said. Gwen Cooper: For who? Torchwood. Gwen: Who’s Torchwood? PC Andy Davidson: Special Ops or something. about the coffee. Is that hot? Gwen: Ah yeah, have it. But they’re not allowed in there. They could contaminate the evidence and all sorts. I mean how […]
Everything Changes Owen Harper laughing: I can’t do this. I’m sorry. I’m rubbish, I give up. Toshiko Sato: He set me off. Day One Tosh: He just… Jack: Came and went. Owen: Now that’s how I’d like to go. Tosh: I’m sure we could arrange it. Owen about Jack: So what’s he told you? Gwen: […]
Ghost Machine Rhys: Gwen, I can live with all the Secret Squirrel stuff, but if you can’t even tell me if you’re coming home— Gwen: Well, nagging isn’t helping. Out of Time Rhys: Your mum rang. Funny thing, she has no idea who Emma is. Gwen: No? Rhys: And I’m thinking back to you and […]
Everything Changes Jack: And before we go any further, who the hell goes around ordering pizza under the name of Torchwood? Owen: Uh, yeah. That would be me. Sorry, I’m a twat. Jack: Owen Harper, Gwen Cooper. Owen: Dr. Owen Harper, thank you. Day One Jack: Alright, usual formation. Gwen: What’s the usual formation? Owen: […]
Everything Changes Jack: Tell me, what was it like when you died? What did you see? John, tell me what you saw. Suzie Costello: Ten seconds. John: Nothing. I saw nothing. Oh my god, there’s nothing. Gwen: But those people last night—the people in the car. Who were they? What’s Torchwood? PC Andy: ‘Don’t know. […]
Everything Changes Captain Jack Harkness: Contraceptives in the rain. I love this planet. Still, at least I won’t get pregnant. I’m never doing that again. John: Who are you? Jack: Tell me, what was it like when you died? What did you see? John, tell me what you saw. Suzie Costello: Ten seconds. John: Nothing. […]
Everything Changes Jack: Owen Harper, Gwen Cooper. Owen: Dr. Owen Harper, thank you. Jack: Toshiko Sato, computer genius. Suzie Costello. She’s second-in-command. And this is Ianto Jones. Ianto cleans up after us and and gets us everywhere on time. Ianto: I do my best. Jack: And looks good in a suit. Day One Gwen: You […]