Darla: First there were the Daleks. And then there was a man who fought them. And then in time he died. There are a few, of course, who believe this man somehow survived and that one day he will return. For both our sakes, dearest Hannah, we must hope these stories are true.
The Doctor: I got your message. Not many people can do that—send me messages.
Darla Von Karlsen (Anamaria Marinca): I have a daughter. Hannah. She’s in a Dalek prison camp. They say you can help.
The Doctor: Do they? I wish they’d stop.
The Doctor: Hell of a chosen meeting place.
Darla: They said I’d have to intrigue you.
The Doctor: Skaro. The original planet of the Daleks. Look at the state of it. Who told you about me?
Darla: Does it matter?
The Doctor: Maybe not. But you’re very well-informed.
The Doctor: If Hannah’s in a Dalek prison camp, tell me, why aren’t you?
Darla: I escaped.
The Doctor laughing: No. Nobody escapes the Dalek camps. You’re very cold. {he feels her face}
Darla: What’s wrong?
The Doctor: It’s a trap.
Darla: What is?
The Doctor: You are. And you don’t even know it. {she partially transforms into a Dalek and shoots him}
Dalek: The Doctor is acquired!
Photoshoot PA (Zac Fox): Um, your husband is here.
Amy: I don’t have a husband.
Photoshoot PA: Ah, well apparently you still do.
Rory: You have to sign these.
Amy: And then we’re not married?
Rory: Just like magic. {she hurriedly signs them}
Amy: Can’t chat. Working.
Rory: Really? I thought you were just pouting at a camera. {he leaves}
Dalek: Amelia Pond is acquired!
Dalek: Rory Williams is acquired!
Rory: Where are we? {he sees a Dalek fleet outside} So how much trouble are we in?
The Doctor walking in: How much trouble, Mr. Pond? Out of ten? Eleven.
Amy: Where are we? Spaceship, right?
The Doctor: Not just any spaceship. The Parliament of the Daleks. Be brave.
Amy: What do we do?
The Doctor: Make them remember you.
The Doctor: Well come on then. You’ve got me. What are you waiting for? At long last! It’s Christmas! Here I am! {he prepares to die}
Dalek: Save us. You will save us.
The Doctor: I’ll what?
Dalek: You will save the Daleks.
Dalek Parliament: Save the Daleks! Save the Daleks!
The Doctor: Well. This is new.
Oswin (Jenna-Louise Coleman): Day 363. The terror continues. Also, made another soufflé. Very nearly. Check defenses. They came again last night. Still always at night. Maybe they’re vampires. Oh! And it’s my mom’s birthday. Happy Birthday, mum. I did make you a soufflé but it was too beautiful to live.
Daleks outside the door: You will let us enter! We will enter!
Rory: What’s he doing?
Amy: He’s chosen the most defendable area in the room, counted all the Daleks, counted all the exits, and now he’s calculating the exact distance we’re standing apart and starting to worry. Oo! And look at him frowning now. “Something’s wrong with Amy and Rory and who’s gonna fix it?” And he straightens his bow tie.
We have arrived.
The Doctor: Arrived where?
Prime Minister of the Daleks: Doctor.
Darla: The Prime Minister will speak with you now.
The Doctor: Do you remember who you were before they emptied you out and turned you into their puppet?
Darla: My memories are only reactivated if they are required to facilitate deep cover or disguise.
The Doctor: You had a daughter.
Darla: I know. I’ve read my file.
The Doctor: Well?
Prime Minister: What do you know of the Dalek Asylum?
The Doctor: According to legend you have a dumping ground. A planet where you lock up all the Daleks that go wrong. The battle-scarred, the insane, the ones even you can’t control. Which never made any sense to me.
Prime Minister: Why not?
The Doctor: Because you’d just kill them.
Prime Minister: It is offensive to us to extinguish such divine hatred.
The Doctor: Offensive?
Prime Minister: Does it surprise you to know that Daleks have a concept of beauty?
The Doctor: I thought you’d run out of ways to make me sick. But hello again. You think hatred is beautiful?
Prime Minister: Perhaps that is why we have never been able to kill you.
Darla: The Asylum. It occupies the entire planet. Right to the core.
The Doctor: How many Daleks are down there?
Darla: A count has not been made. Millions certainly.
The Doctor: All still alive?
Darla: It has to be assumed. The Asylum is fully-automated. Supervision is not required.
Amy: Armed?
Darla: The Daleks are always armed.
Rory: What color? {they look at him} Sorry, there weren’t any good questions left.
Darla: The signal is being received from the very heart of the Asylum. {a song from Bizet’s Carmen is heard}
Prime Minister: What is the noise! Explain! Explain!
The Doctor: It’s me.
Rory: Sorry, what?
The Doctor: It’s me, playing the triangle…. Okay, I got buried in the mix.
The Doctor: Carmen! Lovely show! Someone’s transmitting this. Have you considered tracking back the signal and talking to them? {silence} He asked the Daleks.
Oswin: Hello. Are you real? Are you actually properly real?
The Doctor: Yeah, confirmed. Actually properly real.
Oswin: Oswin Oswald. Junior Entertainment Manager, Starship Alaska. Current status: crashed and shipwrecked somewhere… not nice. Been here a year, rest of the crew missing. Provisions good, but keen to move on.
The Doctor: A year? Are you okay? Are you under attack?
Oswin: Some local lifeforms. Been keeping them out.
The Doctor: Do you know what those lifeforms are?
Oswin: I know a Dalek when I hear one, yeah.
The Doctor: What have you been doing on your own against the Daleks for a year?
Oswin: Making soufflés?
The Doctor: Soufflés. Against the Daleks. He’s amused, then: Where’d you get the milk?
Prime Minister: This conversation is irrelevant!
The Doctor: No it isn’t. Because a starliner’s crashed into your asylum and someone’s got in. And if someone can get in then everything can get out. A tsunami of insane Daleks! Even you don’t want that.
Prime Minister: The Asylum must be cleansed.
The Doctor: Then why is it still here? You’ve got enough fire power on this ship to blast it out of the sky.
Darla: The Asylum force field is impenetrable.
The Doctor: Turn it off.
Darla: It can only be turned off from within the Asylum.
The Doctor: A small taskforce could sneak through a force field Send in a couple of Daleks. {realizing} Oh. Ah, that’s good. That’s brilliant. You’re all too scared to go down there. Not one of you will go. So tell me, what do the Daleks do when they’re too scared?
Dalek: The predator of the Daleks will be deployed.
The Doctor: You don’t have a predator and even if you did, why would they turn off a force field for you?
Prime Minister: Because you will have no other means of escape.
Darla: May I clarify? The Predator is the Dalek’s word for you.
The Doctor: Me? Me!
Darla: You will need this. It will protect you from the nanocloud.
The Doctor: The what? The nanowhat?
Darla: The gravity beam will convey you close to the source of the transmission. You must find a way to deactivate the force field from there.
The Doctor: You’re going to fire me at a planet? That’s your plan? I get fired at a planet and expected to fix it?
Rory: In fairness that is slightly your M.O.
The Doctor: Don’t be fair to the Daleks when they’re firing me at a planet!
The Doctor: What do you want with them?
Dalek: It is known the Doctor requires companions.
Rory: Oh, brilliant. Good-o!
The Doctor: Don’t worry. We’ll get through this, I promise. Don’t be scared.
Amy: Scared? Who’s scared? Geronimo.
Rory: Wrong way up! Wrong way up! {he goes past them head-first}
Amy: Rory!
Oswin turning off Carmen: Sorry! Sorry! Pressed the wrong switch.
The Doctor: Soufflé Girl?
Oswin: You could always call me Oswin. Seeing as that’s my name. You okay?
The Doctor: How’re you doing in there, eh? {he taps the periscope} This is Dalek technology.
Oswin: Well it’s very easy to hack.
The Doctor: No it isn’t! Where are you?
Oswin: Ship broke up when it hit. I’m somewhere underground I think. You coming to get me?
Harvey (David Gyasi): We came down two days ago. There’s twelve other escape pods. I don’t know what happened to them.
Amy: Alaska. That’s the same ship as Soufflé Girl.
The Doctor: Yeah. Except she’s been here a year.
The Doctor about the Alaska crew: They’re dead. All of them.
Harvey: That’s not possible. I just spoke to them. Two hours ago we were doing engine repairs.
The Doctor: Sure about that, are you? ‘Cause I’d say they’ve all been dead for a very long time.
Harvey: But they can’t have been.
Amy: Well they didn’t get in this state in two hours.
Harvey: Of course. Stupid me.
Amy: Of course what?
Harvey: I died outside and the cold preserved my body. I forgot about dying. {he turns into a Dalek}
Amy: Explain! That’s what you’re good at. How’d he get all Dalek’ed
The Doctor: Because he wasn’t wearing one of these. Oh ho ho. That’s clever! The nanocloud. Microorganisms that automatically process any organic matter—living or dead—into a Dalek puppet. Anything attacks this place it automatically becomes a part of the onsite security.
Amy: Living or dead?
The Doctor: These wristbands protect us. The only thing stopping us going exactly the way he did—
Amy: Doctor, shut up! Living or dead?
The Doctor: Yes exactly, living or— {the skeletons become Dalek} Oh dear.
Amy: Is it bad that I’ve really missed this?
The Doctor: Yes.
Amy: Good.
The Doctor: I know.
Oswin: Unauthorized personnel may not enter the cockpit.
The Doctor: Shut up.
Oswin: Oh! Mr. Grumpy. Bad combo. No sense of humor and that chin.
Amy: Is that her again, Soufflé Girl?
The Doctor: Yeah. She— Oy! What is wrong with my chin?
Oswin: Careful dear. You’ll put someone’s eye out.
The Doctor: How can you hack into everything? It should be impossible. You’re in a crashed ship!
Oswin: Long story. Is there a word for total screaming genius that sounds modest and a tiny bit sexy?
The Doctor: Doctor. You call me the Doctor.
Oswin: See what you did there.
The Doctor: Speaking of Rory, is there anything that you want to tell me?
Amy: Are we going to do this now?
The Doctor: Well what happened?
Amy: Oh, stuff! We split up, what can you do.
The Doctor: What can I do?
Amy: Nothing. It’s not one of those things you can fix like you fix your bow tie. Don’t give me those big wet eyes, Raggedy Man. It’s life. Just life, that’s thing that goes on when you’re not there.
The Doctor: ‘Allo ‘allo allo! What are they up to?
Amy: What’s that?
The Doctor: One of these. {indicates the nanocloud thingy} Where did they get it?
Amy: Doctor. They got it from me.
The Doctor: Oh Amy.
Amy: Doctor, what’s going to happen to me, seriously? Tell me, what?
Dalek: Ex- ex- ex- .
Rory: Eggs? You mean those things?
Dalek: Ex— !
Rory: I don’t… I don’t know what you want. Those things? Are those things eggs? {he picks one up} This? You want this?
Dalek: Ex…ter… min… ate!
Oswin: Run! The door at the end, . They’re waking up, they’re slow. The door at the end, just run. Now now now! {Rory makes a run for it} So. Anyway. I’m Oswin. What do I call you?
Rory: Ah, I can’t remember. Ah… Rory.
Oswin: Lovely name, Rory. First boy I ever fancied was called Rory.
Rory: Okay.
Oswin: Actually she was called Nina. I was going through a phase. Just flirting to keep you cheerful. {the Daleks can be heard in the distance}
Rory: Okay, anytime you want to start flirting again is fine by me.
Amy: So tell me, what’s going to happen to me? And don’t lie to me, because I know when you’re lying to me and I’ll definitely fall on you.
The Doctor: The air all around is full of micromachines. Robots the size of molecules. Nanogenes. Now that you’re unprotected you’re being rewritten.
Amy: So what happens, I get one of those things sticking out of my head?
The Doctor: Physical changes come later.
Amy: Well what comes first? How does it start?
The Doctor: With your mind. Your feelings, your memories, and I’m sorry but it’s started already.
Amy: How do you know?
The Doctor: Because we’ve had this conversation four times.
Amy: Okay, scared now.
The Doctor: Hang on to scared. Scared isn’t Dalek.
Oswin: Hey there, Binky Boy.
Rory: If it’s a straight choice I prefer Nina.
Oswin: Loving this. The nose and the chin. You two could fence.
Oswin: Okay, you’re safe for now. Pop your shirt off, quick as you like.
Rory: Why?
Oswin: Does there have to be a reason?
The Doctor: Oswin, can you hear me?
Oswin: Hello, the Chin! I have a visual on you.
The Doctor: Why don’t I have a visual on you? Why can’t I ever see you?
Oswin: Limited power, bad hair—take your pick.
The Doctor: Identify me. Access your files. Who am I? Come on, who’s your daddy.
Dalek: You are the Predator.
The Doctor: Access your standing orders concerning the Predator.
Dalek: The Predator must be destroyed.
The Doctor: And how are you going to do that, Dalek? Without your gun you’re a tricycle with a roof. How are you going to destroy me.
Dalek: Self destruct initiated.
Amy: What’s it doing?
The Doctor: It’s going to blow its up. And I with it. Only weapon it’s got left.
Dalek: Self destruct cannot be countermanded!
The Doctor: I’m not looking for a countermand, dear. I’m looking for reverse.
Rory: Who killed all the Daleks?
The Doctor: Who do you think?
Rory: Will sleeping help her? Will it slow down the process?
Oswin: Better hope so. Because pretty soon she’s going to try and kill you.
The Doctor: Amy! Still with us?
Rory: Amy, it’s me. Do you remember me? {she slaps him} She remembers me.
The Doctor: Same old Amy.
Oswin: Do you know how you make someone into a Dalek? Subtract love, add anger. Doesn’t she seem a bit too angry to you?
Amy: Well. Somebody’s never been to Scotland.
The Doctor: What about you though, Oswin? How come you’re okay? Why hasn’t the nanocloud converted you?
Oswin: I mentioned the genius thing, yeah? Shielded in here.
The Doctor: Clever of you. Now, this place. The Daleks said it was fully-automated. But look at it in here. It’s a wreck.
Oswin: Well I’ve had nearly a year to mess with them and… {looks around} not a lot else to do.
The Doctor: A junior entertainment manager hiding out in a wrecked ship, hacking the security systems of the most advanced warrior race the universe has ever seen. But you know what really gets me about you, Oswin. The soufflés.
Amy: The soufflés?
The Doctor: Where do you get the milk for the soufflés? Seriously, is no one else wondering about that?
Rory: No! Frankly, no. Twice.
Oswin: So. Doctor. I’ve been looking you up. You’re all over the database. Why do the Daleks call you “the Predator”.
The Doctor: I’m not a predator. I’m just a man with a plan.
Oswin: You’ve got a plan?
Rory: We’re all ears.
Amy: There’s a nose joke going if someone wants to pick that one off.
The Doctor: In no particular order, we ned to neutralize all the Daleks in this Asylum, rescue Oswin from the wreckage, escape from this planet, and fix Amy and Rory’s marriage.
Amy: Okay, I’m counting three lost causes. Anyone else?
Rory: But you said when the force field is down the Daleks will blow us up.
The Doctor: We’ll have to be quick, yes.
Amy: Fine, we’ll be quick. But where do we beam to?
The Doctor: The only place within range. The Dalek ship.
Amy: Then they’d exterminate us on the spot.
Rory: Oh, so this is the kind of escape plan where you survive about four seconds longer.
The Doctor: What’s wrong with four seconds? You can do loads in four seconds.
The Doctor: Oswin, how soon can you drop the force field?
Oswin: I can do it from here. As soon as you come get me.
The Doctor: No, just drop the force field and come to us.
Oswin: There’s enough power in that teleport for one go. Why would you wait for me?
The Doctor: Why wouldn’t I?
Oswin: No idea. Never met you. Sending you a map so you can come get me.
Rory: This place is crawling with Daleks.
Oswin: Yeah. Kind of why I’m anxious to leave. Come up and see me sometime.
Rory: So. Are we going to go get her?
The Doctor: I don’t think that we have a choice.
The Doctor: Okay, as soon as the force field is down the Daleks will attack. If it gets too explode-y wode-y in here, you go without me, okay?
Rory: And leave you to die?
The Doctor: Oh, don’t worry about me. You’re the one beaming up to a Dalek ship to get exterminated.
Rory: Fair point. Love this plan!
Rory: Amy, basic fact of our relationship is that I love you more than you love me. Which today is good news because it might just save both of our lives.
Amy: How can you say that?
Rory: Two thousand years, waiting for you outside a box. Say this isn’t true. And since you know it’s true, give me your arm. Amy! {she slaps him}
Amy: Don’t you dare say that to me. Don’t you ever dare.
Rory: Amy, you kicked me out!
Amy: You want kids, you have always wanted kids. Ever since you were a kid. And I can’t have them!
Rory: I know.
Amy: Whatever they did to me at Demon’s Run, I can’t ever give you children. I didn’t kick you out. I gave you up.
Rory: Baby, I don’t—
Amy: So don’t you dare talk to me about waiting outside a box because that is nothing, Rory, nothing! Compared to giving you up.
Rory: Just give me your arm and I’ll put this on—
Amy: No!
Rory: Just give me your arm!
Amy: Don’t touch me! {they realize she has a nanocloud bracelet on}
Rory: It’s the Doctor’s. When you were sleeping.
Amy: A Time Lord. What’s to bet he didn’t even need it.
Rory: Then why didn’t he just tell us!
{Cut to the Doctor fixing his bow tie}
The Doctor: Oswin. I think I’m close.
Oswin: You are. Less than twenty feet away. Which is the good news.
The Doctor: Okay. And the bad, which I suddenly feel is coming.
Oswin: You’re about to pass through intensive care.
The Doctor: What’s so special about this lot then?
Oswin: Don’t know. Survivors of particular wars. Spiridon [Gamble]. [Iridius] Vulcan. Exxilon. Ringing any bells?
The Doctor: All of them.
Oswin: Yeah? How.
The Doctor: These are the Daleks who survived me.
Oswin: Tell me I’m cool, Chin Boy.
The Doctor: What did you do?
Oswin: Hang on, I think I found the door thingie.
The Doctor: No, tell me what you did.
Oswin: The Daleks, they have a hive mind. Well they don’t, but they have a sort of telepathic web.
The Doctor: The pathweb, yes.
Oswin: I hacked into it. Did a master delete on all the information connected with the Doctor.
The Doctor: But you made them forget me.
Oswin: Good, huh? And here comes the door.
The Doctor: I tried hacking into the pathweb. Even I couldn’t do it.
Oswin: Come meet the girl who can.
The Doctor: Oswin. We have a problem.
Oswin: No we don’t. Don’t even say that. Joined the Alaska to see the universe, ended up stuck in a ship-wreck first time out. Rescue me, Chin Boy, and show me the stars.
The Doctor: Does it look real to you?
Oswin: Does what look real?
The Doctor: Where you are right now. Does it seem real?
Oswin: It is real.
The Doctor: It’s a dream, Oswin. You dreamed it for yourself because the truth was too terrible.
Oswin: Where am I?
The Doctor: Because you are a Dalek.
Oswin: I am not a Dalek! I am not a Dalek! I’m human.
The Doctor: You were human when you crashed here. It was you who climbed out of the pod. That was your ladder.
Oswin: I’m human.
The Doctor: Not anymore. Because you’re right. You’re a genius. And the Daleks need genius. They didn’t just make you a puppet. They did a full conversion.
The Doctor: Oswin, I am so sorry. But you are a Dalek. The milk, Oswin. The milk and the eggs for the soufflé. Where—where—did it all come from?
Oswin: Eggs…
The Doctor: It wasn’t real. It was never real.
Oswin: Eggs… ter… min… ate. Exterminate…
Oswin: Why do they hate you so much? They hate you so much. Why?
The Doctor: I fought them many, many times.
Oswin: We have grown stronger in fear of you.
The Doctor: I know. I tried to stop.
Oswin: Then run.
The Doctor: What did you say?
Oswin: I’m taking down the force field The Daleks above have begun their attack. Run!
The Doctor: Oswin, are you—
Oswin: I am Oswin Oswald. I fought the Daleks and I am human. Remember me.
The Doctor: Thank you.
Oswin: Run! {to herself} Run, you clever boy. And remember.
Rory: How long can we wait?
Amy: The rest of our lives.
Rory: Agreed.
Dalek: The Asylum is destroyed!
Dalek: Incoming teleport from Asylum planet. we are under attack!
Dalek: Prepare to defend! Defend!
Dalek: Explain, Dalek Supreme.
The Doctor: You know, you guys should really have seen this coming. The thing about me and teleports, I’ve got a really good aim. Pinpoint accurate, in fact. Or, to put it another way: suckers!
Dalek: Identify yourself!
Daleks: Identify! Identify!
The Doctor: Well it’s me. You know me. The Doctor. The Oncoming Storm. The Predator.
Darla: Titles are not meaningful in this context. Doctor who?
Dalek: Doctor who?
The Doctor: Oh, Oswin. Oh, you did it to them all. You beauty.
Dalek: Doctor who! Doctor who!
The Doctor: Fellas, you’re never gonna stop asking.
Amy invites Rory into the house and walks in herself, leaving Rory to celebrate
Amy: I can see you.
Rory: Okay.
The Doctor: Doctor Who. Doctor Who! Doc-tor Who!