Beauty and the Feast

Gossip Girl: Rise and shine, Upper East Siders. It’s time for your annual checkup. Lucky for you, doctors take their confidentiality seriously around here. Blair: Are you sure this doctor is reputable? Your prenatal care is imperative. Dorota: You never care about my womb before. Doctor (Antony Hagopian): You two should work this out. Dorota […]

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Yes, Then Zero

Dan: Dad! What are you doing here? I thought you’d still be in London helping Jenny set up St. Martin’s. Rufus: She and Eric kicked me out when I didn’t know who Sierra Burton was, so I came back here early and thought I’d spend some time with you. Dan: It’s Blair’s Save the Date. […]

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The Wrong Goodbye

Serena: Well at least now we know why Charlie’s been acting so unbalanced. Vanessa (Jessica Szohr): Yeah. Because she is. Serena: You know this isn’t her fault. She needs help. The last time that this happened she ended up wandering through the snow in her bare feet. Vanessa: Yeah. After she Single White Female’d her […]

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Shattered Bass

Gossip Girl: Good morning, Sleepyheads. Looks like “dream until your dreams come true” wasn’t such a good idea after all. Chuck: So I thought I’d bring some luxury across the river. Brooklyn needs it. It’s all bars, bakeries and babies. No hotel in sight. Charles Place. You up to attend the ribbon cutting? Nate: No […]

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The Princesses and the Frog

Gossip Girl: Once upon a time in the land called Upper East, a beautiful girl met a beast. Gossip Girl: But while the beast locked himself in a tower of ennui, the girl found herself a prince. His name? Blair: If you’ll excuse me, there’s a tart in my room I’d rather attend to. Serena: […]

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Petty in Pink

Gossip Girl: Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. But ask any Upper East Side girl to show you her most prized possession and we bet the box is Vivier. Not Cartier. Serena: Hey Mom. We’re back from our tour of the best pastry shops in Manhattan. Charlie (Kaylee DeFer): I did a Linzer tart taste […]

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The Kids Stay in the Picture

Reporter: The van der Woodsen family is no stranger to the tabloids, but this time it appears the mother of all scandals surrounds the mother. Sources say that Lily Humphrey could be facing up to ten years in prison for forgery and obstruction of justice. That means her big lavish lifestyle— Blair: Turn that off! […]

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Empire of the Son

Rufus: We’ll get through this. Lily: You sound so sure I almost believe you. Lawyer: They’re ready for us. Rufus: I’ll be waiting. Lawyer: Lily, this is Assistant District Attorney Vincent. He’s going to be taking your statement. ADA Vincent: Whenever you’re ready, Mrs. Humphrey. Gossip Girl: They say Rome wasn’t built in a day. […]

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While You Weren’t Sleeping

Gossip Girl: Mick, Keith and their questionably-costumed cohorts said, “You can’t always get what you want.” But that doesn’t mean it’s okay for anyone else to have it either. Serena: Sorry if we kept you up last night. We were playing Scrabble. Ben (David Call): She fell asleep to avoid losing. Dan: Since when do […]

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It-Girl Happened One Night

Gossip Girl: It’s cold out there, but on the Upper East Side things are heating up. Because Valentine’s Day is around the corner. Serena: Please don’t tell me you’re leaving already. Between classes at Columbia, your job at W, the only proof that I have you still exist is the faint trace of Chanel in […]

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Panic Roommate

Gossip Girl: A wise woman once said that every morning when you wake up you say a little prayer. After all, you never know what your day may hold. Reina Thorpe (Tika Sumpter): Sorry, I only have an hour before my next meeting. Chuck: Hm. We’ve got no time to waste. …From a warm goodbye. […]

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