An Evening with Mr. Yang
1988 Present Day […]
Category: Season 3
Tuesday the 17th
1988 Henry: Hey. How about a big hello for your old man you haven’t seen in a week. Shawn: Hi, Old Man. Can we go now? Henry: You two didn’t team up for the pinata contest this year, did you? Shawn: No. He ditched me for golden boy Jason Cunningham who wins ever year. And […]
Truer Lies
1987 Henry: Shawn. What are you doing home from school? Young Shawn: Uh. Ah… well… at the assembly today there was a guy and he hypnotized some students. And one of them thought he was a kangaroo. And he punched the guy. And he passed out before he could put the kids back to normal. […]
Any Given Friday Night at 10pm, 9pm Central
1987 Young Shawn: I’ve gotta get his autograph. He’s so cool. Henry: Relax. Remember. He’s a person. Just like me. Young Shawn: Oh no. He’s way better than you. Present Day Lassiter: Where have you two been? We’ve left you twelve messages. Shawn: Sorry. We were having our bi-annual Rae Dawn Chong movie marathon. Chief […]
Earth, Wind and… Wait for It
1987 Young Shawn: You’ll never believe it. I know what I’m going to be when I grow up. A fireman! Henry: I never would have guessed. What exactly brought this on? Young Shawn: Fireman Paul. He came to our school. He is so totally rad. Henry: Fireman Paul? Did he happen to be sober? Henry: […]
Lassie Did a Bad, Bad Thing
1987 Henry: Turn around. {he places a blindfold over Shawn’s eyes} Young Shawn: Oo. Did you get me a pinata? Henry: Nope. Young Shawn: Pepsi Challenge? Henry: Nope. Young Shawn: Am I being executed? Present Day Shawn: The weather has dampened my psychic powers, but I am sensing something big is about to come through […]
Six Feet Under the Sea
1987 Young Shawn: We did it, Gus. A year of planning has finally paid off. Young Gus: Don’t you think we should wait until they get a little further away? Young Shawn: No. We have to move now. We’ve got ten minutes to find the dolphin, feed it, and then ride it. Young Shawn: You’re […]
Christmas Joy
1988 Present Day […]
Gus Walks Into a Bank
Shawn: Lassie, Jules. What are you doing here? Lassiter: What are you doing here? Juliet: Shawn, we have a situation. Somebody held up the bank and we think he’s taken hostages. {Shawn makes a break for the door but Lassiter stops him} Lassiter: Woah. Take it easy. Shawn: Gus is in there. Commander Cameron Lutz […]
Talk Derby to Me
1987 Henry: Something’s missing. I took something of yours, you need to figure out what it is. Young Shawn: Dad, you robbed me? Henry: No, robbery’s the taking of property by force or fear. I’m not afraid of anyone in this room. Young Gus: So you’re a burglar then. Henry: No, Gus, burglarly involves breaking […]
There Might Be Blood
1987 Young Gus: How can you be sure it’s down there? Young Shawn: I can feel it in my bones, Gus. All great oil wildcatters have that ability. Me… Getty… Clampett… Crisco and Wesson. Present Day Gus: Don’t play, Shawn. You know that fungus is my bread and butter. Shawn: Really? You know what my […]
Disco Didn’t Die. It Was Murdered!
1978 Henry: Listen, Franks. You have the right now to get shot. Make the wrong move, you lose that right. Put down the bomb. Present Day Shawn: Sorry, Chief. I got roped into doing a silly interview with the Independent. They’ve been calling and begging for weeks and I finally relented. Reporter: You called me. […]
The Greatest Adventure in the History of Basic Cable
Henry: Don’t say a word.
Shawn after some thought: Vergulous.
Henry: Shawn, I said no words.
Shawn: Oh, I see. Two weeks ago playing Scrabble, it’s not a word and now suddenly it is a word because it’s convenient for you.
[…]
Read More… from The Greatest Adventure in the History of Basic Cable
Daredevils!
1987 Henry: Listen to me, you think your fans came out here to see you jump? Young Shawn: Yeah. Henry: They came out here to see you crack your head open. Which basically makes you no different than the kid in class who can shoot milk out of his eye. Young Shawn: You think I […]
Murder?… Anyone?… Anyone?… Bueller?
Present Day Gus: Who put the orange slices in the punch bowl already? They’ll be soggy by the time everyone gets here. This is a disaster, people! Shawn: Yep. First typhoid fever, now this. Gus: Shawn, this night has been thirteen years in the making. Everything has to go perfectly. What I need from you […]
Ghosts
1995 Teen Shawn (James Roday): I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask for that World’s Greatest Dad mug back. Henry Spencer (Corbin Bernsen): Oh just keep talking, Shawn. Teen Shawn: You keep talking. Henry: Oh don’t worry, I will. Like when I read you your rights. Teen Shawn: Oo. I have rights. That’ll be […]