Clara: I told you it’d work!
The Doctor: It very nearly ate you for dinner.
Clara: Oh, admit it. I totally saved your life.
The Doctor: It wasn’t going to eat me.
Clara: I totally saved you from having to marry that giant sentient plant thing. That bit when I jumped over the side, that was amazing. {he smiles} Ha! Knew you were impressed.
The Doctor: The second most beautiful garden in all of time and space and we can never come back here, because you, Miss Oswald, decided— {the phone rings}
Clara: Hello?
Rigsy (Joivan Wade): Clara. Finally. It’s Rigsy.
Clara: Oh! Rigsy. Hey. What’s wrong?
Rigsy: So I have this, uh…. It kind of looks like a tattoo.
Clara: Seriously. I gave you this number for emergencies.
Rigsy: It’s an emergency, trust me. Just come and take a look at it please.
Clara: Look, look. No matter how bad it is, we cannot take you back down your timeline just to fix a tattoo.
Rigsy: That’s just it. I didn’t get a tattoo and it’s, it’s counting down.
Clara: Sorry, what?
Rigsy: The tattoo. It’s a number and it’s counting down to zero.
Clara: Hang tight. We’ll be right there.
Rigsy: Hurry. Please.
The Doctor: Did you make this human?
Rigsy: Lucy? Yeah, she’s mine.
Clara: Hello. Oh Rigsy, she’s gorgeous.
The Doctor: She’s better than that. She’s brilliant. {to Rigsy} What are you doing, running around getting tattooed with a brilliant—
Both: Sh!
Rigsy: Look, I didn’t get anything. I woke up this morning and it was just there. Jen noticed it.
The Doctor: Okay. Local Knowledge, you’re coming with us. And bring the new human. {thinking better} No, don’t bring the new human. I’ll just get distracted.
The Doctor: If you want your extremities to stay attached stand absolutely still. If not, we can provide a small bag, you can take them home at the end.
The Doctor: First off: in the last 24 hours you have had significant contact with alien lifeforms. Right here in the center of London.
Rigsy: Okay, so why don’t I remember anything?
The Doctor: You’ve been retconned.
Clara: What conned?
The Doctor: Amnesia drug. Your prefrontal cortex is marinating in it. Oo! There’s something else. Something… uh… not good. Weird. {he grabs the index cards and starts looking}
Rigsy: What’s he doing?
Clara: He’s making an effort to be nice.
The Doctor: There’s no nice way to say, “You’re about to die.”
Rigsy: What?!
The Doctor: Rigsy…
Rigsy: No no no no. Don’t start using my actual name now. Call me Pudding Brain, call me Local Knowledge, whatever. Just don’t call me Rigsy. You’re gonna save me. You’re a Doctor, that’s what you do.
The Doctor: Okay. Yes! Okay, let’s do this thing. First up, stop the countdown. 526 minutes, right. Okay. Yes, you know what, Local Knowledge? I don’t know who did this to you or why. But I do almost certainly know how to find them.
The Doctor: There have always been rumors. Stories passed from traveller to traveller, mutterings about hidden streets. Secret pockets of alien life right here on Earth. Like a Smugglers Cove. Only not a cove, because it’s right here, right in the middle of the capital.
Rigsy: The hidden places are in the great British Library?
The Doctor: No. The maps are.
The Doctor: I never put stock in it. London streets that suddenly disappeared from human view? No. You lot are always overlooking things. But whole streets? That would be excessive even for you. But if the stories are true though, there should be a street on one of these old maps that no longer exists in the real world.
Clara: Like a trap street, only not.
The Doctor: What did you say?
Clara: A trap street. You know, when someone’s making a map. A, um, cartographer. Uses a fake street, throws it into the mix, names it after one of his kids or whatever. Then if the fake street—the trap street—ever shows up on someone else’s map, they know their work’s been stolen. Clever, right?
The Doctor: My god, a whole London street just up and disappeared and you lot assume it’s a copyright infringement.
Clara nearly falls out of the TARDIS
Rigsy: She enjoyed that way too much.
The Doctor: Tell me about it. It’s an ongoing problem.
The Doctor: Forget the way you usually look at the world. This street’s going to be hiding in plain sight. If you see something unusual or notable, dismiss it. Just keep walking. But if there’s a bit of London so unremarkable that you don’t even think about it, stop. You could very well be standing right outside a trap street. Count everything that you see. Because when you hit the area around a trap street, it’s very likely you’ll lost count. You’ll lose count because the misdirection circuit is creating confusion in your mind. Details won’t add out. Reality will have glitches in it. Like when you try to read the same simple sentence three times over, and the meaning just won’t sink in.
The Doctor: Fifty minutes left. Hoodie up, Local Knowledge. They know what you look like in there.
Kabel (Simon Manyonda): Name, species and case for asylum, quick as you like.
The Doctor: Asylum?
Kabel: The reason you’re here. The reason you need sanctuary. {to Rump} Why didn’t they use the protocol?
Rump (Simon Paisley Day): You do know this is a refugee camp.
The Doctor: Yeah, of course.
Me (Maisie Williams): Of course he does. Now that you’ve told him.
Kabel: Mayor Me.
Clara: Ashildr!
Me: Ashildr?
The Doctor: That’s your name. I keep telling you that.
Me: Do you? Infinite lifespan, finite memory. It makes for an awkward social life.
Clara: So this is where you’ve been. That’s why he lost track of you. {the Doctor glares at her} Oh come on, please. {to Me} It’s really cute. He thinks I don’t know. He’s got this whole secret room in the TARDIS where he collects mentions of you.
Me: It’s not cute. It’s surveillance.
The Doctor: It’s professional interest.
Me: Precautionary measure.
The Doctor: Still saving the world from me then?
Me: It’s still here, isn’t it?
Me: How do you know this man?
Clara: Hang on, you did this to Rigsy?
The Doctor: What have you done?
Me: This man committed a crime. I sentenced him.
Clara: Sentenced him?
Me: I also gave him enough time to return home and say goodbye to his family.
The Doctor: You flooded his brain with retcon. ‘Til we showed up, he didn’t even know that he had to say goodbye.
Me: I’m afraid no intruder leaves this place without a memory wipe. With respect, that will include you.
Clara: Oh the hell it will.
The Doctor: You’ve already endangered one of my friends. I want your personal guarantee that you will not endanger another.
Clara: Shut up. I can handle myself.
Me: I guarantee the safety of Clara Oswald. She will be under my personal protection. That is absolute.
The Doctor: So you’re still calling yourself “Me” then.
Me: “Me”?
The Doctor: “Mayor Me.”
Me: Mayor is a title. I give myself a title for the same reason you do, Doctor. Something to live up to.
The Doctor: Difficult, isn’t it.
The Doctor: How long have you been here?
Me: Since Waterloo.
The Doctor: The battle?
Me: No, the station. Really Doctor. Tread carefully while you’re here. Some of your greatest enemies are within a few feet of you. As far as you’re concerned, this is the most dangerous street in London.
Me: Don’t worry, we’re perfectly safe.
The Doctor: Yes. A phrase I find is usually followed by a lot of screaming and running and bleeding.
Clara: You’ve sentenced Rigsy to death, yet you don’t know exactly what’s going on.
Me: He was found over the body. My people were angry, frightened. I had to act.
Clara: This is ridiculous. This is—
Rigsy: What was her name?
Me: Anah.
The Doctor: The female Janus is psychic. One face sees into the future, the other looks behind her into the past.
Clara: I think we saw her son outside.
Me: Excuse me, I’m sorry.
The Doctor: Yes. Please. Go. It’s not like we’ve got a ticking clock or anything.
Rigsy: What’s happening?
The Doctor: It’s called a Quantum Shade. It’s a kind of a spirit. Once it’s bound to a victim, you can flee across all of time and all of the Universe and it would still find you.
The Doctor: At least give him a merciful death.
Me: You think a Cyberman fears a merciful death? Peace on this street depends on one thing. To break it, in any way, is to face the raven.
Clara: Okay, we split up, cover more ground. I’m good cop, you’re bad cop.
The Doctor: No no no, we don’t have— Can I not be the good cop?
Clara: Doctor, we discussed this. Your face?
The Doctor: Oh yeah. Well forget about cops, right. Forget about finding the real killer. You heard Ashildr. All we have to do is persuade these creatures that it isn’t Rigsy. And fast.
Clara: That man’s wife, she said something. “Give it to me, tell me I can have it.” What did she mean?
Rump: Two ways to survive a Quantum Shade. The Shade’s master removes the Chronolock, or you can give it to someone else.
Clara: Give it? You can just—
Rump: No you can’t just push it on someone, it’s not that simple. It must be taken willingly. The death’s already locked in. You can pass it on but you can’t cheat it.
Rigsy: You’re serious? You actually expect me to give you my death sentence.
Clara: Sh! Come on. I’ve always wanted a tattoo. You know, something small, discreet.
Rigsy: Clara, cut it out.
Clara: Look, weren’t you listening? I’m under the Mayor’s personal protection, and it’s absolute. Apparently. Look, she controls the raven, so I will never have to face it. This is clever.
Rigsy: But this is putting you in danger.
Clara: No, this is us talking the opposition into their own trap. This is Doctor 101. We’re buying time. We get all of the aliens on our side, in the next half an hour, and then we reveal I’ve got the Chronolock, not you, and boom! We buy ourselves more time to find the real killer.
Rigsy: The Doctor would never let you do this.
Clara: Doctor 102. Never tell anyone your actual plan. He’ll have a tantrum when he finds out. And then, when we confront Ashildr, she’ll want to take the Chronolock off just to shut him up.
Clara: What happens if you don’t go home tonight to Jen and Lucy, hey? If you never go home? You really want your little girl growing up without a father just because he wouldn’t take a risk? You trusted us to save you, so trust us. Come on!
Rigsy: Okay. All right. All right, how do we do this then.
Clara: Well. I was kind of hoping that would be it. I say I want it, you say you can have it. You know, done deal.
Rigsy: So this is your life, then. Just bouncing around time saving people, right?
Clara: No. Not every day. You know, sometimes Jane Austen and I prank each other. Oh, she is the worst. I love her. Take that how you like.
Kabel: Your friend, acting like he was all scared of us, calling for a doctor.
The Doctor: A what?
Kabel: I know. The cheek of him. Humans can survive losing entire limbs and I’m supposed to believe that he—
The Doctor: Shut up. Shut up. The other thing he said. The second thing, what, what, what, you said he was scared and?
Kabel: And he asked the Mayor to call him a doctor. Poor Anah, dead at his feet—
The Doctor: Shhh. Did he say a doctor or The Doctor? This is very important.
Kabel: The Doctor.
The Doctor: Clara gave you my number for emergencies. So when you wake up with a weird tattoo on your neck, and no memory of the last 24 hours, the first thing you do is call the Doctor.
Rigsy: Call the Doctor.
The Doctor: But you find yourself accused of murder on a strange alien street in the middle of London. Only they’ve taken your phone. So you beg the woman in charge to call me instead. She knew you and I were friends. So why’d she lie? Unless she had something to hide.
The Doctor: There’s something very wrong here. And we’re running out of time.
Clara: There’s twelve minutes left. I’m not giving up yet.
Rigsy: Look Clara, even if they know something, they’re not gonna come forward. The way they look at me.
Clara: The way they look at you.
Rigsy: What?
The Doctor: The Mayor, what is she up to? It’s not good, is it?
Anahson (Letitia Wright): I can’t see everything. But she thinks she’s doing the right thing.
The Doctor: They usually do.
The Doctor: If what Ashildr is doing is harmless, then we will just walk out of that door. No one will know of your abilities. But if it’s not—
Anahson: I don’t know what she means to do. No, I’m trying but I can’t see it. I can’t see it because it involves you. When I look at you, I can’t tell your past from your future and there’s so very much of both.
The Doctor: This isn’t about Rigsy. It’s about me.
Anahson: She couldn’t just ask you here. She needed a mystery. You can never resist a mystery. She’s afraid.
The Doctor: Afraid of what? Of whom?
Anahson: I can’t see.
The Doctor: There’s a reason that the Mayor has gone AWOL. She means for us to release your mother, but she doesn’t want us to use her key. She wants to use mine.
Clara: The TARDIS. That’s what this is all about.
The Doctor: There are easier ways to steal a key, you know.
Me: I don’t want your TARDIS. That’s not what this is about. Rigsy, come here, I’ll remove your Chronolock.
The Doctor: What is this, Ashildr? You can’t possibly think this is going to keep me here.
Me: It’s not a restraint. It’s a teleport bracelet.
Clara: What?
Me: I’ll give you time to say goodbye, don’t worry. No one will be hurt.
The Doctor: Where are you sending me?
Me: I made a deal to protect the street. They take you, I take the key so you can’t be traced. I do as they tell me and the street is safe.
The Doctor: “They”? Who are “they”?
Me: One more thing. Your Confession Dial. They have other means of procuring it but I understand it’s likely to be on your person. Please. No resistance. You’ve already lost. {he hands it over} What is it?
The Doctor: In your terms, my last will and testament.
Me: How does it work?
The Doctor: I’ve no idea.
Me: Well thank you anyway. Rigsy, your neck.
Rigsy: Clara, what are you playing at? The Chronolock?
Clara: Take the teleport off him first.
Rigsy: I don’t have it, I’m telling you. Clara does!
Me: No. No, you didn’t.
Clara: Go on then, take it off.
The Doctor: Clara, you didn’t!
Me: I had no idea she’d do something so stupid. I swear! I never meant for anyone to get hurt. But what were you thinking? Sacrificing yourself?
Clara: I wasn’t sacrificing anything. Strategy. Backup plan to buy us more time.
The Doctor to Rigsy: Who told you to go to her?
Clara: Nobody did. I did. Rump said.
The Doctor: What exactly did Rump say?
Clara: He said that death is locked in. You can pass it on, but you…
The Doctor: But what?
Clara: But…
Me: But you can’t cheat it altogether.
Rigsy: Clara. You didn’t tell me that. Give it back to me, now!
Me: She can’t. Clara, I made a contract with the Shade when I put the Chronolock on Rigsy. I promised it a soul and only I can break that contract. When you took it from him, you changed the terms. You cut me out of the deal.
Clara: We can fix this, can’t we? We always fix it.
The Doctor: No. {to Me} But you can. Fix this. Fix it now!
Me: It— It’s not possible. I can’t.
The Doctor: Yes, it is. You can. And you will. Or this street will be over. I’ll show you and all your funny little friends to the whole laughing world. I’ll bring UNIT, I’ll bring Zygons. Gimme a minute, I’ll bring the Daleks and the Cybermen. You will save Clara and you will do it now or I will rain hell on you for the rest of time.
Clara: Doctor, stop talking like that.
Me: You can’t.
The Doctor: I can do whatever the hell I like. You’ve read the stories, you know who I am. And in all that time, did you ever hear anything about anyone who stopped me?
Me: I know the Doctor. The Doctor would nev—
The Doctor: The Doctor is no longer here. You are stuck with me. And I will end you and everything you love.
Clara: Doctor! For gods sake, will you stop!
The Doctor: No!
Clara: I did this. Do you hear me? I did this. This is my fault.
The Doctor: I don’t care!
Clara: Liar. You always care. Always have. You reign of terror will end with the sight of the first crying child and you know it.
The Doctor: No I don’t.
Clara: I do. Listen, if this is the last I ever see of you, please… not like this.
Clara: Is there anything you can do?
Me: Sorry. I’m truly sorry. I—
Clara: Time’s short. Yes or no?
Me: No.
Clara: Well if Danny Pink can do it, so can I.
The Doctor: Do what?
Clara: Die right. Die like I mean it. Face the raven.
The Doctor: No, this is not— This can’t be happening.
Clara: Maybe this is what I wanted. Maybe this is it. Maybe this is why I kept running. Maybe this is why I kept taking all those stupid risks, kept pushing it.
The Doctor: This is my fault.
Clara: This is my choice.
The Doctor: I let you get reckless.
Clara: Why? Why shouldn’t I be so reckless? You’re reckless. All the bloody time. Why can’t I be like you?
The Doctor: Clara, there’s nothing special about me. I am nothing, but I am less breakable than you. I should’ve take care of you.
Clara: I never asked you to.
The Doctor: You shouldn’t have to ask.
Clara: You…. Now you listen to me. You’re gonna be alone now. And you’re very bad at that. You’re gonna be furious, and you’re gonna be sad. But listen to me: don’t let this change you. No. Listen. Whatever happens next, wherever she is sending you, I know what you’re capable of. You don’t be a warrior. Promise me. Be a doctor.
The Doctor: What’s the point of being a doctor if I can’t cure you.
Clara: Heal yourself. You have to. You can’t let this turn you into a monster, so… I’m not asking you for a promise, I’m giving you an order. You will not insult my memory. There will be no revenge. I will die, and no one else here, or anywhere, will suffer.
The Doctor: What about me?
Clara: If there’s something I could do about that I would. Guess we’re both just gonna have to be brave.
The Doctor: Clara— {she hugs him}
Clara: Everything you’re about to say, I already know. Don’t do it now. I’ve already had enough bad timing.
The Doctor: Don’t run. Stay with me.
Clara: Nah. You stay here. In the end, everybody does this alone.
The Doctor: Clara…
Clara: This is as brave as I know how to be. I know it’s gonna hurt you, but please… be a little proud of me. Goodbye, Doctor.
Clara: Let me be brave. Let me be brave. Let me be brave.
Me: I’m sorry, Doctor. I truly am.
The Doctor: What Clara said, about not taking revenge, do you know why she said that?
Me: She was saving you.
The Doctor: I was lost a long time ago. She was saving you. I’ll do my best, but I strongly advise you to keep out of my way. You’ll find that it’s a very small universe when I’m angry with you.