The Townie

Gossip Girl: Spotted: Dan and Blair exiting Sant Ambroeus with espresso doppio for two. But we hear it’s not the caffeine that’s got them talking a mile a minute. It’s a mission. Dan: So. Juliet dressed up like Serena at Saints & Sinners to destroy her relationships with me and Nate. Blair: And enlist Vanessa […]

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The Witches of Bushwick

Gossip Girl: On the Upper East Side, the possibilities are endless. Dom or Krug. Winston or Cartier. Tory or Stella. Eventually even the people with everything have to choose. Serena: Hey, why are you guys eating? I thought we were going to Sarabeth’s. Eric: Ah, we decided we could spread out better here. There’s more […]

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The Magnificent Archibalds

Gossip Girl: For the rest of the country, Thanksgiving is when families come together to give thanks. But on the Upper East Side, the holiday thankfully returns to its roots: lying, manipulation and betrayal. And from what we hear, just like the Indians, someone else is being pushed out of their home. Blair: Even though […]

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Never Been Marcused

Gossip Girl: As summer comes an end, I’d like to share a few things I’ve learned about fun in the sun. Gossip Girl Summer Tip #1: Don’t fall asleep on the job. The best hookups are free of morning breath and awkward conversation. The only thing harder than making up is waking up. Serena: It […]

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Blair Waldorf Must Pie!

Gossip Girl: As per Gossip Girl’s Thanksgiving tradition, I’m trading my laptop for Stovetop. And for the next 16 hours the only thing I’m dishing is seconds. When the cat’s away, the mice will play. Have fun, little rodents. Blair: I mean, who gets wasted on Thanksgiving? Serena: The holidays are lonely for people. I […]

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Seventeen Candles

Blair: After being broken up with my boyfriend for exactly 20 minutes, I succumbed to inebriation, performed at a speakeasy, and surrendered my virtue to a self-absorbed ass. The only good news is that he’s a total pig who’ll act it never happened. Thank god. Sorry. Truthfully I’m not even Catholic. Priest: You don’t say. […]

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Victor/Victrola

Blair: You want your dad to invest in a strip joint. How Midtown. Chuck: A burlesque club. A respectable place where people can be transported to another time. Where they can feel free to let loose. No judgment. Pure escape. What happens at Victrola stays at Victrola. Jenny: Dad, have you seen a bracelet? You […]

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