Season 18

The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer Lisa: Otto, Bart won’t give me a seat. Otto: You know I can deal with your problem or I can rock out. But I cannot do both! Otto: That’s not a song. Real songs are about deals with the devil and far off lands where you […]

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Season 4

Fire (Part 1) Kellerman: There’s no absolutes in life. Only in vodka. Autofocus Kellerman: You know, he shouldn’t leave a department vehicle running like that. Lewis: Yeah. Could get stolen. Kellerman: Lieutenant said take the first car in. Lewis: We shouldn’t. Kellerman: You’re right. Lewis: Grand theft auto, baby. Pembleton: You sons of bitches! Heartbeat […]

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Other Characters

Season One Steve Crosetti (Jon Polito): Mr. Becker ducked. But he didn’t duck good enough. Meldrick Lewis (Clark Johnson): Lost art, ducking. Crosetti: That’s the problem with this job. It’s got nothing to do with life. Bernard: Okay, I was there. But I didn’t kill them. John Munch (Richard Belzer): Who killed them? Bernard: A […]

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Celebrity Guests

Season 1 Homer: Is that a good siren? Am I approved? Cowboy Bob (A. Brooks): You ever known a siren to be good? No, Mr. Simpson, it’s not. It’s a bad siren. That’s the computer in case I went blind telling me, “Sell the vehicle to this fellah and you’re out of business.” Cowboy Bob: […]

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