Thor’s Hammer

Gairwyn: You’re a little short for gods. Thor (as a Norse God hologram): O’Neill: Teal’c, I think we just got the answering machine. Unas (James Earl Jones): Jaffa. I am Unas. The First One. Teal’c: You do not exist. Unas: Kill the human. O’Neill: Excuse me? Unas: And we will feast together. Teal’c: I no […]

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Season 9

The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson Moe: Listen up guys. The Springfield police have told me that 91 percent of all traffic accidents are caused by you six guys. {they congratulate themselves} Yeah, I know, I know. But the bad news is we gotta start having designated drivers. We’ll choose the same way […]

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Treehouse of Horror

Treehouse of Horror Marge: Hello, everyone. You know, Halloween is a very strange holiday. Personally, I don’t understand it. Kids worshipping ghosts, pretending to be devils. Things on TV that are completely inappropriate for young viewers. Things like the following half-hour! Nothing seems to bother my kids, but tonight’s show—which I totally wash my hands […]

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Season 2

Bart Gets an F I will not encourage others to fly. Mrs. Krabappel: There were moments when I truly believed you were Hemingway. Bravo, Martin. Martin Prince: Oh please. Call me Papa. Mrs. Krabappel: Bart, did you read the book? Bart: Mrs. Krabappel, I am insulted! Is this a book report or witch hunt? I […]

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Celebrity Guests

Season 1 Homer: Is that a good siren? Am I approved? Cowboy Bob (A. Brooks): You ever known a siren to be good? No, Mr. Simpson, it’s not. It’s a bad siren. That’s the computer in case I went blind telling me, “Sell the vehicle to this fellah and you’re out of business.” Cowboy Bob: […]

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